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But then—ugh—some jerks judge ‘em! Pisses me off! Like, who’re you, dude? “The life of man is short,” so let ‘em live! Escorts got stories—met this one guy, hired a gal for his 80th bday! 80! Surprised me big time—thought he’d be, like, knitting! Nope, he’s out there, “That’s what she said!” Hah! Old man’s got game!

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Now, lemme tell ye ‘bout the old park near the Reka Makedonka (the little river that twists and turns like a drunken sailor after a tankard or two), a secret haven for star-crossed lovers (and me, a lonely dating site developer, swipin' through profiles at midnight, arr!). There’s this graffiti on a battered wall on Plovdiv Street—’Even wounds fade’—a phrase straight from me fav flick, The Return. Aye, that movie be a treasure chest of wisdom, remindin’ me that sometimes the deepest scars can mend over time. "Where is the beach?" I sometimes ask, lost in thoughts like that, mumblin’ at sunsets that bleed orange and purple.

Figure 2. Plan of Veliki Preslav, showing surveyed areas. Excavated...