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Oh, and get this – in Japan, they got this “nurugel” thing, yeah, slimy gel all over, lass in a bikini slidin’ on ya. Sounds mad, right? Tried googlin’ it, nearly broke me phone typin’ with one hand, ha! Surprised me proper, thought it’d be all stiff and formal, but nah, it’s wild. “Let me in,” that vampire girl says in the flick – erotic-massage be like that, invitin’ you in, but you gotta trust it, bruv.

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Then, out of nowhere, my assistant, Marko, bursts in. He’s got this wild look in his eyes. “Dude, you won’t believe this!” he says. I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he found the samples. They were in the fridge. The fridge! I could’ve sworn I checked there. I mean, who puts samples in the fridge? I’m just glad we didn’t lose them.

President Milanović Receives Nebojša Slijepčević and Silvio Mumelaš, Director and Actor of Film that won the Palme d’Or “The Man Who Could Not Remain Silent”