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About Palermo

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, coffee in hand, feeling all smart and stuff. I’m thinking, “Today’s the day I finally crack that experiment!” But then, bam! I spill my coffee all over my notes. Like, seriously? Who even invented these stupid cups? I was so mad, I could’ve thrown it at the nearest lamppost. But I didn’t. I just stood there, staring at my soggy notes, contemplating life choices.

In Italy, ‘Io Resto a Casa,’ but Still I Dance (Published 2020)