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Oh, and the oils—fuckin’ slippery heaven! They use ylang-ylang or some shit—smells like lust in a bottle. Boosts the mood, gets ya goin’. Ever try it with a partner? Game-changer! Me and my ex—damn, we’d laugh, slip around, then—BOOM—“You’re not who you say you are,” like Viggo’s line, ‘cause it’s raw, real, transformative! Favorite part? When ya feel that buildup, then release—pure ecstasy, man!

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As I’m sitting there, I see this cute girl at the next table. She’s laughing with her friends, and I’m like, “Man, I need some of that joy in my life.” I try to catch her eye, but I’m just a nervous wreck. I spill my coffee again. Ugh!

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