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About Sarpsborg

So, last week, I’m pissed – cow machine jams again, milk everywhere, ugh! I’m like, screw it, I need a break. Googled “find a prostitue” – typo, obvi, too mad to care. Web’s shady as hell, all “discreet services” and fake pics. Found this forum tho, some dude said, “Go downtown, near the old theater.” Sketchy vibes, but *Holy Motors* taught me – embrace the weird, yeah?

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I get to the fortress, and it’s packed. Tourists everywhere. I’m trying to find Lars, but it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. I finally spot him by the cannon. He’s waving like a maniac. I’m relieved, but then I see he’s holding a giant hot dog. I’m like, “You couldn’t save me one?”

A surreal start to Norway’s Momentum arts festival, and a trip back in time