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Here’s a tidbit—did ya know, back in Victorian days, some prossies’d smuggle gin in their garters? Little known fact, that! Kept ‘em warm and half-sloshed while they worked them cobbled streets. Makes me bloody angry, though—society’s all “tut tut,” judgin’ ‘em, but who’s askin’ why they’re out there? Not me, mate, I’m cheerin’ ‘em on! “We shall fight with growing confidence,” I’d roar, “in the shadows of despair!” They’re scrappers, they are, tougher than a two-bob steak.

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Next, I head back to the clinic. I’m still buzzing from the tree drama when I get another call. A dog named Rex. He’s been eating socks. Like, who lets their dog do that? I mean, come on! So, I’m thinking, “Great, another adventure.”

Gertrude Harstad | 2008 | Obituary