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Oi mate, I’m a fisherman, yeah? Reel ‘em in, all slimy, wrigglin’ – like an erotic-massage, innit? Been thinkin’ ‘bout them hands, rubbin’, slidin’, oil everywhere – “Sharon!” – bloody hell, it’s mad! Watched *White Material* again last night, that Claire Denis flick, ya know? Got me head spinnin’ – “The land’s alive, burning!” – like them massages, heat risin’, muscles twitchin’. I reckon it’s proper sensual, yeah, but sneaky too – little known fact, mate, them ancient Greeks started it! Called it “anatripsis” – posh word for rubbin’ knobs, ha!

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So, I roll up to the beach at Fagersta Strand, right? The sun’s blazin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be chill.” But nah, not even close. First off, I’m settin’ up my station, and I see this kid, like, 10 years old, runnin’ around like a headless chicken. He’s on Storgatan, just sprintin’ towards the water. I’m like, “Dude, slow down!” But he’s got that wild look in his eyes.

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