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Ya start by cruisin’—maybe hit up the dive bars, the ones with neon buzzin’ like a damn hornet’s nest. Ask around, but don’t be a schmuck—keep it lowkey. “Where’s the action?” ya mutter, feelin’ like Freddie, all twitchy and pissed. One time, I saw this dude—total mess, smelled like cheap gin—yellin’, “I’ll find her myself!” Got me laughin’—buddy, good luck, ya ain’t findin’ squat without a tip-off!

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Finally, I get my food, and it’s glorious. I take a big bite, and it’s like fireworks in my mouth. But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a mess. I’m sittin’ there, sauce drippin’, and I can’t help but laugh at myself. Classic warrior move, right?

There and Back Again: Oliver Kapanen’s return to a familiar place