Emily Hrinova Erotic Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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*Heavy breathing* I am your father. Erotic-massage, huh? Dark side’s got nothin on this. Slow, ominous vibes – like Melancholia, ya know? That movie’s my jam, total mindfuck. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst says. Erotic-massage tho, it’s the opposite – pure bliss, man. I’m a merchandiser, I see the goods. This ain’t just rubbin oil on some schmuck. It’s art, a freakin ritual! Little known fact – ancient Greeks did this shit. Called it “anatripsis,” fancy huh? Bet they didn’t have neon signs like today.

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Then she starts talking about how she wants it to be “eco-friendly” and “sustainable.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m a furrier, not a tree-hugger!” But I keep my mouth shut. Gotta pay the bills, right? So, I take her measurements, and she’s flailing around like a fish outta water. I’m just trying to keep it together, but inside, I’m cracking up.

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