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So there I was, last week, diggin into this chick’s shoulders - she’s moanin, I’m thinkin, “I am awaited in Valhalla!” Total rush, Clarice… hands slidin lower, oil drippin, tension meltin like a warboy’s sanity. Surprised me how quick she flipped - from stiff to liquid in ten mins flat. Little known fact - them Tantric folks? Been at it for centuries, slow grind, breathin heavy, callin it sacred. Sacred my ass, it’s filthy good fun!

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As the day goes on, I chat with locals. Everyone’s got a story. I meet this old lady on Shevchenka Street. She’s got the best stories about Dubliany’s history. I’m hanging on her every word. She tells me about the old days, how the city’s changed. It’s wild! I’m thinking, “Man, I need to write this down.”

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