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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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I swear, at least once, I got mad as hell strolling down East Street when a fly-by-night pop-up was blocking the creative street vibe. I was like, “You can't hack into my dating app dreams, mate!” Honestly, anger aside, those battles made me appreciate the gritty authenticity here.

New medical centre in Seaton Delaval that could house two GP practices granted planning permission