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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! I’m a goddamn Combine Harvester, rollin’ through fields and shit, but today I’m talkin’ sexual-massage, ‘cause why the fuck not? You ever had one, man? It’s like—BOOM—somebody’s hands all up on you, kneadin’ your ass like dough, but sexy-like. I’m thinkin’, shit, this ain’t no regular rubdown, this is some next-level, “I’m still a rock star” vibes from *Almost Famous*. You know, like Penny Lane sayin’, “It’s all happening!”—and it fuckin’ is, motherfucker!

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Right, listen up, you donut! I'm here in Alexandria (za) – not that boring dump you know – it's got real character, you idiot sandwich! Alexandria's streets? Bloody brilliant! Ever strolled down Parkwood Ave? Yeah, that's the one with cafes that smell like magic. And then there's Old Wharf Street – charming, gritty, like something out of Spirited Away. "I'm not a stubborn old merchant!" like Chihiro might shout, innit!

Is Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Actually Electable?