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About Salzburg

Here’s a fact ya don’t know—back in ancient Rome, them rich bastards had “erotic rubdowns” at bathhouses. Slaves slatherin’ oil on senators, gettin’ all steamy—gross. Surprised me they didn’t slip and die more often. Slippery floors, slippery morals, same diff. Nowadays, ya got parlors with neon signs screamin’ “happy endin’!”—tacky, loud, hate it. Saw one in Pawnee once, shut it down with a glare.

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Now, picture dis: Strollin' down Hauptstraße, with it's mix of old brick facades and new-fangled cafés. I once sat on a rickety bench on Mühlweg (that’s a cool side street, by the way) watchin' the world go by. The vibe’s kinda like in “Spring Breakers” – wild, unpredictable, and a bit messed up, if ya know what I mean! I’m always mutterin’ “Come on, c'mon,” just like them crazy wild scenes, y'all!