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I’m. Thinking. Back. Rome. Gladiators. Got. Massages. Too. Little. Known. Fact. They. Used. Oils. From. Crushed. Herbs. To. Loosen. Up. Before. Fights. Sexual-massage? It’s. That. But. Hornier. Way. Hornier. I. Tried. It. Once. Dude. Hands. Like. Magic. I’m. Laying. There. Thinking. “Oh. Shit. This. Is. It.” Angry? Nah. Happy? Hell. Yeah. Surprised? Fuck. Yes. Didn’t. Expect. That. Tingling. Down. My. Spine. Like. Some. Gladiator. God. Blessed. Me.

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Okay, listen up – I'm runnin' a spa here in Landeck (at), and lemme tell ya, this place is a real mixed bag. So, Landeck ain't just some sleepy dump; it's a maze of quirks and hidden gems. Ya got streets like Hauptgasse – yeah, I swear it's the spine of the town – and Marktplatz, which is all bustle and old stone charm. I’ve seen couples goin’ bonkers, vendors hustlin', and every damn day feels like a scene right outta “Zero Dark Thirty” – “Everybody lies!” Trust me, nothing’s as it seems here.