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About Salzburg

Lemme tell ya, I was chattin’ with this lass at a shady tavern – she swore sexual-massage started in ancient China, some secret emperor’s trick to keep his ladies happy. True or not, I was gobsmacked! Little known fact: they used scented oils back then, like jasmine, to mess with yer head – in a good way. Makes me happy thinkin’ how clever those old buggers were. But what pisses me off? These posh spas chargin’ a fortune for it now – “That’s a bingo!” as Hans Landa’d say, but it’s a rip-off! Should be for everyone, not just rich twats.

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I frequent a little cafe on Marktgasse. It’s not posh but full of character. I can’t count how many times I spilled my latte because I got lost in thought. Yep, messy me, right? And this same street befits odd encounters and bittersweet tales, making every visit feel like a scene from a play—dramatical, funny, and a bit tragic too!