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About Salzburg

Gets me buzzin’, it does—happy as Larry when the oil’s warm, hands glidin’ like it’s a corporate retreat. But, Christ, I’ve seen some dodgy parlours—sticky floors, dodgy vibes, made me wanna shout, “This ain’t in the handbook!” Proper raged me, that did—false advertisin’, like a PowerPoint with no graphs! Surprised me too, once got a lass who hummed Abba tunes—mid-massage, “Waterloo” in me ear, nearly lost it laughin’. “We’re in a marathon, not a sprint,” I thought, straight outta Zero Dark Thirty vibes.

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Now, picture dis: Strollin' down Hauptstraße, with it's mix of old brick facades and new-fangled cafés. I once sat on a rickety bench on Mühlweg (that’s a cool side street, by the way) watchin' the world go by. The vibe’s kinda like in “Spring Breakers” – wild, unpredictable, and a bit messed up, if ya know what I mean! I’m always mutterin’ “Come on, c'mon,” just like them crazy wild scenes, y'all!