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About Linz

So, check it – erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’, it’s a whole vibe, yeah? Been around since ancient times, like dem Greeks was at it, callin’ it “anatripsis” or summat. Proper posh, innit? Makes me laff tho – imagine Socrates gettin’ a cheeky backrub, “Is it ’cos I is black?” Nah, fam, it’s ’cos I’m knackered and need a unwind! Little fact for ya – in Japan, they got dis ting called “nurumassage”, all slippery wiv seaweed gel. Seaweed! I was like, “Bruv, what’s next, fish fingers up ya bum?”

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I work at the spa, so I’m always snoopin’ around. Now, my fave neighborhood? The Altstadt – old bricks, crooked alleys — ancient vibes everywhere. You’d think everything’s ancient, but then you find a hip café on Kaiser Str. that slaps you back 2012, harsh and real. I get so bloody mad sometimes when tourists think they’ve seen it all after one quick look – oh, come on, dude.