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About Vienna

Oh, and don’t get me started on the overpriced “spa” joints—$200 for a rubdown? “Call it what you will,” but that’s highway robbery! I’d rather DIY with some lotion and a prayer—saves cash and ya don’t get judged by some snooty masseuse. Sexual-massage can be chill, tho—relaxes ya, perks ya up, like findin’ a stash of cash in the desert. Just don’t let no weirdo ruin it, or I’m yellin’, “Don’t pee on my leg, ya freak!”

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So first up, you gotta check out Hauptstraße – the pulsing heart of our hustle. It's like my own backstage pass, man! I walk down it almost everyday and see the old brick facades mixed with hip new cafes. There’s that cool mural on Eichenweg, you know the one with crazy swirls? Man, it blows my mind every time – reminds me of that quirky style in "The Royal Tenenbaums," ya know? “I suppose that's just the way life is, honey,” I chuckle as I pass by!

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