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Oi, ever wonder why they’re called escorts? Comes from French, “escorte” – means guard or guide. Ironic, innit, protectin blokes from their own lonely arses! Cracks me up, that. Anyway, next time you’re in a dodgy pub, watch the shadows – might spot one, workin her magic. “You’re a good man,” they’ll purr, but don’t be fooled – it’s all a game, mate. Love it or hate it, it’s bloody brilliant. Cheers!

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Honestly, oh man, sometimes I get mad – like when tourists don't know the cool spots! Hey, calm down, we come in peace, but still. Now, let’s not forget those little cafes on Kingston Cir that smell like roasted dreams. I once had a heart-to-heart with a barista about love and sex – quirky conversation, so unexpected; almost as surprising as finding free WiFi on a remote park bench in Commonwealth Park.

Australian Skate Guide: Canberra City