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About Perth

Sex-dating’s wild tho. Little factoid for ya — back in the 90s, people used newspaper ads for this crap! “Lonely guy seeks babe” — can ya imagine? Now it’s all DMs and nudes, bam! I tried it once, swiped this gal, thought, “She’s a real knockout, doc!” We met up, and — surprise! — she’s talkin marriage in 10 minutes flat! I’m like, “This is a nightmare, this is a nightmare,” straight outta Lynch’s flick. Ran outta there faster than ya can say “carrot stew.”

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I stroll the block dippin’ into quirky art shops. Oh man, every corner holds a surprise! Heck, one day I wandered into a vintage store on 5th and wondered, “What’s our metaphoric soundtrack today?” The vibe was as eerie as a scene from Werckmeister, where every face tells a story.

Enter Via Laundry Bar, Helly Raichura’s Laid-Back Carlton North Bar