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About Melbourne

Angry part? Society judgin’ ‘em—fuck off, let ‘em live! Happy part? They’re outsmartin’ us all, laughin’ to the bank. Personal quirk—I’d probs overanalyze their profit margins, bore ‘em to death. “A census taker once tried to test me”—they’d run screamin’. Love that line, fits perfect. Sex escorts? Chaotic, clever, messy—my kinda people. What ya think, huh?

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And the parks – holy moly. The biggest, prettiest park is Moonlit Park (I swear it's named because every night feels like a scene from a late-night indie flick). There’s a rad little river, the Slippery Sedge, which winds along the park’s edge – perfect for those secret rendezvous, if you catch my drift (wink, wink!). Sometimes, I stroll there, deep in thought about human desires and the absurdity of life, much like the surreal moments in The Act of Killing – “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes all around. Like, who even comes up with that stuff?!

Clyde & Co expands renewable energy and carbon markets offering with hire of Alex Blomfield