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About Sydney

So, escortin’ – it’s not just some tarted-up prossie gig, right? It’s a bleedin’ art form! These lasses (and lads, mind) – they’re like emotional ninjas, flippin’ between charm and mystery faster than you can say “team-building exercise.” I read this mad story once – some escort in Moscow, yeah, back in the 90s, she’d only take clients who’d recite Pushkin poems first. Proper nutter! Made me chuckle, that – imagine the punters, all sweaty, butcherin’ poetry for a bit of rumpy-pumpy. Classy, eh? Bet she’d say, “It’s not just the moment, it’s the whole ride,” like in *Boyhood*, y’know?

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Look, I must drop some low-key deets here: There’s this hidden gem called The Secret Garden near the Solitary River – or somethin’ like that – where you can literally hear every leaf whisper. I used to sneak off there after a tough day at the spa. I’d think, “This is more badass than any Tarantino scene, man!” (Yeah, I mix my movies with my vibes sometimes!) Eat my shorts, seriously!

Five things to see in Coffs Harbour that aren’t the Big Banana