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So, lemme tell ya, I was on this one site—total meat market. Profiles like “luv 2 fk, no strings.” Classy, right? Made me wanna claw my eyes out, but also—kinda funny? Like, who’s buyin’ this crap? Then there’s this chick, posts a pic in lingerie, says “just want convo.” Yeah, sure, darlin’, and I ate his liver with fava beans! Total bait, but I bit—why not? She ghosted me after two texts. Pissed me off, wasted my damn time!

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I gotta tell ya, I got mad at times too, oh so mad! That blasted traffic around Collingwood Square, my precious, it infuriates me to no end. The locals gripe about it, and even I crack a joke – "Traffic, tricks, and dragons!" There’s such irony, I tells ya, referencing the movie lines, my precious... oh yes, like those blood-stained secrets in the dark corners of that film!

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