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So, I’m picturin’ it—some dimly lit room, oil everywhere, slippery as hell. You’re lyin’ there, like, “Am I relaxed or aroused? Both? Neither?” It’s confusin’! I’d be a wreck—neurotic mess, me, Larry freakin’ David! I’d yell, “Too much pressure! Not enough pressure!” The masseuse’d hate me. But that’s the gig—sexual-massage walks this tightrope, y’know? Little known fact: back in ancient China, they called it “yin-yang touch”—balancin’ energies or whatever. Sounds fancy, but it’s still hands on your junk!

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I remember, oh precious, a night near the old historic site, Roderick's Bridge, near the murky part of Dallas Creek – the lights were flickery, and I felt like, "Don't be afraid, follow your heart," oh, like the movie, yesss. I met a strangey soul there, but sss, he vanished, like shadows, and I was left with mad anger, and then a warm bittersweet smile, hsss, such is life here!

Trader Joe’s picks spot for new store in Collin County