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Ever tried it? I did once—total accident! Booked a “normal” massage, then boom, candles, soft music—uh, what’s happenin’? Lady’s like, “Relax, Michael,” and I’m sweating, thinking, “This is NOT Dunder Mifflin!” Felt like Otilia sneaking around—nerve-racking but thrilling! “What can I do? I’m desperate!”—movie line fits perfect. Exaggerating? Maybe, but my shoulders? Heaven! Anger hits when folks judge it—shut up, Karen, it’s not weird!

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Then, there's the river—a sort-of lifeline that cuts through the Valley. I call it Rill Run, though formal maps might call it something else. Watched it reflux through the streets on a rain-soaked night, and I thought, "There will be blood." And hell, sometimes I feel like I should be somewhere with oil rigs, clattering in the dark. Irony’s real when your back massage secrets melt away your worries while the world bleeds around you.

Passionate Dundas Valley students seek to Change the Way with virtual conference