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Now, lemme tell ya, I saw “The Social Network”—best damn movie, Fincher’s a genius—and it’s like erotic-massage in a way. Ya got Zuckerberg, sittin’ there, tense as hell, buildin’ his empire, and I’m thinkin’, “Kid, ya need a rubdown!” Imagine it—some masseuse whisperin’, “I’m not a masseuse, I’m an experience,” like that Winklevoss line, “I’m 6’5”, 220, and there’s two of me!” Ha! Erotic-massage coulda saved that boy some stress—maybe even stopped him from screwin’ over Eduardo! “You better lawyer up, asshole,”—nah, just get a massage, Zuck!

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The personal anecdote? Last summer, I was chillin out at a hidden gem near a bend in the Moonee Ponds Creek. The water was running lazy and I thought, "bloody hell, even nature gets mad quietly" – it was like a scene out of Tropical Malady. Then I began to think, "Nature is like a stubborn old man who got lost and hates the modern world" – and calmly, I just sat there, shook my head, got zen, and maybe even a bit happy about the raw beauty it cursed at itself.

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