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About Perth

So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

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Downtown's High Street is where all the crazzz fun happens. There's an old brick building near Liverpool Row (yeah, names stick kinda weird sometimes) that reminds me of those underwater caves in Finding Nemo… like, seriously, “Fish are friends, not food!” Wiggle through the narrow lanes and BOOM – you'll hit a cluster of cosy cafes and quirky shops. I even had a cheeky break at Starbucks on Murray Ave. (okay, maybe I got too many lattes, but hey, that’s what she said!)

Cameron, Lions mids flex to continue QClash dominance