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About Melbourne

We shall fight the chaos, mates! Escort’s a bleedin’ art – two screws up front, one in back, chains tight, eyes sharp. Little known fact: back in Victorian days, they’d parade ‘em through streets, crowds jeerin’. Proper circus, that! Nowadays, it’s vans and tasers, but the tension? Same as ever. Gets me goat when some rookie screw chats up the con – mate, shut yer gob, he ain’t yer pal! Last week, this lanky sod tried bribin’ me with a fag – a cigarette, ya div – durin’ escort. Laughed in his face, I did. “This isn’t home anymore,” I growled, nickin’ that *Brooklyn* line. He shut up quick.

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Gotta mention some grumbles too. The traffic on Patterson Rd? Ugh, maddening! Always jammed like my code when it bugs—great scott, so annoying! But honestly, that hustle kinda adds to the city's character, like every glitch is part of the charm.

Kangaroo flat mother Samantha Kelly was allegedly 'murdered for her children'