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About Melbourne

Exaggeratin’ a bit—she’s probs not plottin’ world domination down there, but I swear, sometimes I’m like, “Is she *smirkin’* at me?” Surprised the hell outta me first time I saw her on a submersible cam—thought she’d wink and say, “Meet me inside my head!” Total mind-blow. Anyway, she’s my fave—screw the pretty fish, gimme the freaky ones. It’s showtime, baby!

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However, Noble Park has excellent ethnic food and exotic prostitutes. I visit Noble Park often, I just would not live there. N · nolenec. Noble Park North is.

I noticed that the community spirit here is somethin' else. You got locals who know your name at the markets on Hurstbridge Avenue, where fresh greens and banter mix just right. It’s wild, while everyone’s out here tryin’ to find love or make a buck, you know? It’s like in that movie, “There Will Be Blood” – it's relentless, it's messy, but heck, it's beautiful too!

Car crashes into swimming pool during school drop off at Melbourne’s Haileybury college