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So I tried it, right? This lass—fit, mind—starts with me shoulders, all slow and teasing. I’m chuffed, like Sadness going, “Ohh, I might cry, this is lush.” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow”—piss off, love, just rub me bits! Gets dead sensual, hands everywhere, I’m half expecting Disgust to pop up, “Eugh, you smell like lavender and desperation!” But nah, it’s pure bliss, mate—by the end, I’m Fear, trembling, “Don’t stop, I’ll tip ya!”

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And hey, I gotta mention that magical river, the Limin. It flows lazily like a lullaby to your bones, a perfect spot to chill and muse about life's little twists. I once had a full-blown epiphany working on a tight massage schedule right by its banks. Sorta like when the band in "Almost Famous" had one of their wild nights – unforgettable and loud. Totally insane, right?

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