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Hiss! Precious, listen up, yesss! Me, a bailiff, down in them mines, diggin’, sweatin’, but I knows escort – not them shiny cars, nah, them folks who “escort” ya, if ya catch my drift! Sneaky business, it issss! Reminds me o’ *Spring Breakers*, yesss, my fave flick – “Look at my shit!” – all wild, reckless, glittery chaos! Escorts, they strut like that, all “look at me,” struttin’ through shadows.

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Srsly, sometimes I get mad runnin’ my code and then vent out on Twitter about the state of dating & the universe. But these streets, these curves, these freakin' honest people keep me goin’. There's a time when a random local asked me if I lived in a Codswallop of a movie – and I laughed so hard, I nearly sent my app updates into oblivion.

M1 Pacific Motorway upgrade won't be completed until 2024