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Oh, and the oil—smells like sex and flowers. Slippery as a Lannister lie. I ask her, “What’s in this?” She says, “Secret.” Secret my arse—I bet it’s just posh lard. Still, I’m floatin’, mate. Floatin’. “What does it mean?” I mumble, like some twat from the movie. She don’t answer—just keeps rubbin’. Good enough for me.

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So, Tahmoor, it’s this small town n wonder place, ya know? It got one main street, Tahmoor Road, which bustles with cafes, boutique shops, and local market stalls, all huggin’ each other, real close, like best friends—even if they sometimes fight! There’s also little laness like Creekside Lane, near the big park, Kings Park, where you can catch a moment in nature, relax to river Murmur flowing soft, whispering secrets.

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