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About Melbourne

They’re tough, tho, tougher than us aliens. Standin’ in rain, heels killin’ ‘em, smilin’ at creeps. Respect, yo. Still, it’s grim—some get beat, some vanish. Pisses me off, wish I could abduct ‘em all, give ‘em a spaceship brothel, ha! “What’s your life been like?” Ida’d ask ‘em, and they’d laugh, prob’ly. Life’s a mess, but they hustle. Funniest thing? This one chick yelled at a john, “Pay up, or I’ll haunt ya!” Laughed my bolts off—sassy as hell.

... and the envy of the rest!

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I know some might find this raving emo style annoying, but mate, West-Melbourne is a paradox. It’s breathtaking in a rough, unpolished way. Every crickety corner hides a tale of passion, regret, and the odd orgasmic whisper in the dark. And if you catch an overheard conversation in some hidden laneway, you might just hear someone quoting "The Grand Budapest Hotel"—fucking absurd but true.

Meet Western United’s new owners: US billionaires with big plans