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Hey, pal, so… sexual-massage, huh? What’s the deal with that? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’—like, slow down, what’s it *really* about? You ever tried it? Me, I’m curious, y’know, like a kid pokin’ a weird bug. I’m Larry freakin’ King, and I wanna know—does it rust ya up or keep ya shiny? Kinda like me bein’ an anticorrosion agent, ha! Gotta protect them pipes, right? Sexual-massage—it’s this slippery thing, part rubdown, part somethin’… naughty? I dunno, makes me squirm a lil, but I’m into it—in my head, anyway.

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Woolgoolga has this moody river, Woolgoolga Creek it’s called. It whistles like old legends at night, chilling us with wonder and a tiny bit of fear. Sometimes I stroll its banks, marvelling 'bout nature's beauty, but always with a Gollum’s cautious glee! Yesss, like "la grande bellezza" whispering, echoing in the dark.

Truly special night of classical Indian music comes to Woolgoolga