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Oh, and the fellas—some sweet, some stinkier’n a cow pen. Reminds me of Jack sayin’, “You got no fuckin’ idea how bad it gets.” Them gals deal with all sorts, and I tip my hat to ‘em. Takes guts, y’know? More’n I got milkin’ them clankin’ machines all day. I’d prob’ly trip over my own boots tryin’ to work there—Lord, I’m a mess, ain’t I?

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Confidence and chaos swirl around me here, man. I mean, sometimes, while I'm meditating or working on positive vibes, some memories rush in, erratic like a roller coaster: typos, stammers, heart racing, OMG... I've had better days! I get so wrapped up in that feeling that my mind scribbles crazy thoughts like "LOOOL, fckin' beauty!" even as I try to remain chill.

Spectator who threw drinking flask into Van der Poel's face during Paris-Roubaix turns himself in to police (VIDEO)