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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!

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I love these streets, man, even when things get mad. I remember that one day, when a code bug had me cursed under Henderson – then the sun broke through, and I was like, "What a day, man." It’s raw, chaotic, and beautiful all at once – a perfect mix of happy, mad, and surprised all in one.

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