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Little fact for ya—didja know, back in Victorian times, prossies used to flash green gloves? Secret code, innit—sneaky buggers! Saw that on X once, blew me mind! Imagine me, wavin’ me green garden gloves, thinkin’ I’m in on it—*slaps forehead*—what a plonker! Got me all giddy, though—love a good secret, me. But then, ooh, got mad—some punter yelled, “Oi, weirdo!” at me. Cheeky sod! Nearly chucked me trowel at ‘im, but I tripped—*thud!*—landed in a puddle, typical!

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I work on a dating app, so I'm always scope-scanning every nook; that means I know all the dark corners and bright spots. One time, I was coding outside the local park—I forgot its name, but oh man, it had the best vibe—and I met someone who reminded me of a scene from The Great Beauty, like “La grande bellezza, it's mystifying!” The city just sparkles like that movie, you know? Beautiful scenery, and then BOOM, memory hits you: "Wow, this is great, just beautiful, simply tremendous!"

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