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The worst part? Catfishers, ugh, they boil my blood! This one dude—swore he was 6’2”, ripped, shows up lookin’ like a soggy noodle. I’m like, “You must play,” quotin’ Szpilman’s grit, but inside I’m screamin’, “Liar!” Sex-dating’s a gamble—half the time you’re dodgin’ fakes, half the time you’re prayin’ for a spark. Little tip: check their pics for blurry hands—dead giveaway they’re hidin’ somethin’.

Here’s to dating with confidence.

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So obvi, my work in the dating biz totally shaped my view—like, I see love battles in every corner. Every café, every street corner, even the weirdly perfect little bridge over a canal near Place des Amours tells a story. I remember one day I was debugging a dating algorithm and, like, strolled down Rue de l’Espoir, feeling that, like, "I wanna be where the truth is" kinda vibe from Spotlight. It was honestly mind-blowing, and I was all, "This is legit life!"

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