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Anyways, I tried Bumble—surprised me big time. This chick, Lisa, all flirty, says, “Let’s meet, big boy.” I’m happier’n a pig in mud! We vibe, it’s chill, like *The Assassin*—all slow buildup. “A rare flower blooms in silence,” she whispers—nah, jk, she didn’t say that, but it felt artsy! We hooked up, tho—score! Mmm… donuts. Pro tip: don’t mention donuts on dates. Weirds ‘em out.

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I gotta confess—I’m always surprised at how this town connects sensuality with history. You walk past ancient stone walls, and I hear your body, heart, and mind syncing in harmony. Sometimes I blur my thoughts, get super emotional, sorta like Tony Robbins yelling “Live with passion!” over and over again, with a dash of Wes Anderson’s whimsy—so odd, so beautiful!

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