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About Bruges

Last week, yeah, I tried it meself – mate of mine, dodgy geezer, says, “Gardener, you gotta feel dis.” Booked a sesh, walked in all nervy, room’s dark, candles flickerin’ like in Wes Anderson’s flick when da kids run off to da woods. “What’s the rumpus?” I’m thinkin’, heart’s bangin’ like a drum. Dis lass starts wiv da oils, hands movin’ slow, and I’m like, “Blimey, dis is peng!” Felt like da bit in da movie where Suzy says, “We’re in love, we just wanna be together.” Me and da massage, bruv – true romance!

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Then there’s the old quarter, known as Vieux Geetbets. Here, buildings lean like they’re tired of capitalism. I remember, one day, while counseling a friend after a bad break-up, I took ’em to the secret nook near the Weeping Willow by the old canal – Canal des Murmures. Seriously, it’s like the water whispers, “Nobody’s got it all figured out, chum,” but also like, “Just keep swimming.”

Wreath laying at the graves of fallen Polish soldiers