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About Brussels

Still, bit awkward, innit? Bloke like me, floppy hair, stumbling in, “Erm, hullo, bit of a rub, please?” Laughed my arse off imagining it. What if they recognise me? “Blimey, it’s Boris!” Chuckle at that, I would. Oh, and the oils – slippery as a greased pig! Nearly fell off the table once, true story, daft prat that I am.

Dangerous Beauty (1998)

Now, listen up – you must check out the park near Havenlaan. The locals call it “Zwerfpark” – a kinda mysterious name for a place to wander aimlessly, but that’s just local banter. I often lunch there with me mates, sipping a lukewarm beer, chuckling about how the river Lys lazily splits the town, like it doesn’t care about the chaos on its banks. The Lys? It’s like that one half-hearted lover – always present, never really plunging deep.

Trial begins in Paris over the 2016 jewel heist aimed at Kim Kardashian