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Oi, preciousss, sex-dating, eh? Nasty, tricky lil beast it is! Hiss! Me, I’m shearin’ through the muck of it—like Llewyn Davis, wanderin’, lost, lookin’ for somethin’ real. “I don’t see much future,” he says, and damn if that ain’t me on them apps! Swipe, swipe—ugh, my gnarly finger hurts! All these profiles, promisin’ gold, deliverin’ mud. Gollum sees it, yesss—half these folk lie ‘bout their height! Hiss! Makes me mad, it does—wasted time, wasted dreams!

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I love hangin’ out by the little river – what’s it called, ah heck, the Dambeek. Yeah, the Dambeek! The reflections there remind me of that movie scene, "You know, it's like they’re waging a war inside themselves." Mad introspection, brother! I once got so lost in thought there, I nearly forgot my latte!

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