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About Mons

Oi, mate, I’m a Ratcatcher, ya? Dis erotic-massage ting, lemme tell ya – it’s wild, ja! I’m Arnold freakin’ Schwarzenegger, I see stuff oders don’t, like in “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia,” dat slow-burn beauty from 2011 – my fave, hands down! Picture dis: you’re lyin’ dere, all oiled up, some chick’s hands all over ya, and I’m tinkin’, “Life is strange, isn’t it?” – straight from da movie, dat line hits deep!

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I run my spa near Place des Rêves, a chill lil' square with benches, trees, and that awesome fountain that makes my heart go boom-boom. Sometimes I wonder, seriously, is mayonnaise an instrument? (Classic Patrick, right?) I swear, every time I get a massage, I dream of that movie. It’s all trippy and weird, like you’re in a dream where your past lives talk to ya, but also you're like, “Yo, relax, dude!”

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