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So, bottom line—Escort’s a budget champ, nothin’ sexy. Worth it? Depends on your wallet, pal. Me, I’d rather watch *Ida* again than drive one—least the movie’s got depth! What d’ya think, huh? Call me, let’s talk it out!

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I run my spa near Place des Rêves, a chill lil' square with benches, trees, and that awesome fountain that makes my heart go boom-boom. Sometimes I wonder, seriously, is mayonnaise an instrument? (Classic Patrick, right?) I swear, every time I get a massage, I dream of that movie. It’s all trippy and weird, like you’re in a dream where your past lives talk to ya, but also you're like, “Yo, relax, dude!”

ChiAfA..vres Garrison: New event strengthens partnership