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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty dwarf— “I drink and I know things.” So, lemme tell ya bout escort— not them fancy ladies, nah, the Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture this: me, a carpenter, sawdust in me beard, cruisin in a beat-up Escort, 1980s vibe, total shitbox but I love it. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil trash-bot— “Directive?”— chuggin along, loyal as hell. Built me a custom shelf in the back once, for me tools, hammered it drunk— worked fine, wobbly like me after wine.

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Every day I get grumpier watching kids skate on the cracked pavement of Weststraat; they whirl around like life’s spineless rattlesnakes. But then there's a gem – a little cafe on Kiezelstraat. I sometimes pause there. Their coffee’s decent, no pretense. The owner always grumbles like me. I murmur, "I hate everything." And he chuckles. Sorta warms me up.

Florian Vermeersch to candidate in local elections in Belgium: "It is my ambition to move up a gear in politics after my career"