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About Mons

Ever tried it? Grindr, Bumble, whatever – pure madness. One time, this geezer sends me a vid, full-on wankin’, no hello! Laughed my arse off, then blocked him. Cheeky sod. We shall fight the weirdos, we shall conquer the creeps! But when it works – oh, fuckin’ hell, fireworks! Sal whispered, “You’re my coffee plantation,” nicked that vibe from the movie, romantic yet filthy. Made me grin like a twat. Sex-dating’s a war, yeah, but the victories? Shag-tastic.

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I’ll be honest: Oedelem can get on my wick sometimes. Traffic can turn the streets into a chaotic circus, and locals sometimes act as if a burnt toast is the epic catastrophe of the day. But true me, I see it as an endless comedy sketch. I recall this one time, I was on me meditative walk, right, and suddenly some bloke on a moped shouted, “Oi, keep it down with the peaceful vibes!” Like, who am I to dictate his moped symphony? It got me cackling, honestly.

Van Hoecke Luc, "The wizard of Oedelem"