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About Mons

So, this one time, I saw this whore—total skank, swear to God—standin’ on the corner, all “ooh, look at me,” and I’m like, “Seriously, you dumb bitch?” Made me so mad, I wanted to kick her right in the taco! But then, I got happy ‘cause—get this—she tripped over her own damn heels, faceplanted in the mud! Ha! Respect my authoritah, whore, you ain’t shit! Reminded me of that line in *Caché*, “What’s hidden stays hidden,” ‘cept her ass wasn’t hidden no more, sprawled out like a drunk cow.

Our Lady of Scherpenheuvel

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Now, lemme get into the nitty-gritty. The parks, oh the parks! Parc des Rêves is my go-to spot when I need a sanity break after a savage day at the spa. The trees, they whisper your secrets, ya know? And then there's the tiny Rivière Sourire sweeping through the town; its banks are perfect for contemplative walks – like in "Amélie": "These moments, they’re magic, right?" Though I must say, “Here’s Johnny!” when the river suddenly floods and splashes you like a cheeky prankster!

Baloise Belgium Tour: Jasper Philipsen wins stage 1, takes early lead