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Oh, and the quirks! Some masseuses hum—hummm—like weird lil’ birds. Cracked me up first time! Thought, “Is this a spa or a jungle?” And the oils—patchouli, lavender—smells like heaven’s backyard. Pro tip: ask for warm stones. Feels like huggin’ a cloud.

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Now, the landmarks – gotta include "The Old Mill" on River Amour. That babbling brook though – oh man, it’s so sweet and steady, like a whispered secret, ya know? I’ve sat there and watched couples, my heart racing, feeling all that crazy juicy energy! And OMG, "Clocktower of Desire" in the centre, blazin’ up to the sky – it's a freakin’ beacon of drama, like "Happy Birthday, Mr. President!" kinda surprise every time I glance at it.