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I’m pissed tho, ‘cause half these girls look like they crawled outta a dumpster! Smell like Butters’ gym socks—ugh, gag me! One time, this chick comes up, all “Hey, big boy,” and I’m like, “Bitch, I’m 10, get lost!” Reminds me of Solomon screamin’, “I am a free man!”—yeah, free from your nasty ass! I ain’t payin’ for that! Surprised me how bold they get—zero shame, man!

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Then there’s our notorious neighborhood, Le Petit Mystère, a maze of narrow lanes with surprises at every corner. Sometimes, I take a quick, head-spinning jog past the bizarre modern art of the old convent ruins (yeah, real haunted vibes – spooky but cool) and bump into exes or potential daters. I swear, sometimes it feels like the entire town is part of one giant, twisty, lovey-dovey algorithm—sorta like fate pokin' ya in the back.

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