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Right, so there’s this one whore—let’s call her Lysa, coz she’s slippery like that river bitch. Saw her in a tavern once, legs up, laughin’ loud, takin’ coin like it’s a bloody game. Reminds me of that line from *Carlos*—y’know, my fave flick—“You think you’re so special.” She did, struttin’ round like she owned the joint. Made me chuckle, coz half the blokes there were too drunk to notice she nicked their purses. Clever lass, that one—sneaky as a shadow in King’s Landing.

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I love visiting Parkje Zoete – our secret park where you can chill under the oak trees and pretend you’re in a Wes Anderson flick. I always drive through in my beat-up car (yep, got some typos on the dashboard after a wild night: “Mispelt” and “TypoR” everywhere, lol) and I swear the little pond gives off that moody vibe of a Coen brothers scene – “The blues have got me so low,” almost like I’m the forlorn hero waiting on fate.

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